As our heads and our hearts tell us, there is a strong connection between health and social connection. Research shows a direct correlation between loneliness, isolation, and negative health consequences. People with high quality social connections fare better physically and mentally than those of us who experience isolation and low quality connections, with impacts including cardiovascular disease, depression, cognitive decline, and even premature death. Certain times of year – particularly the winter holidays – are often difficult for people with strained family relationships and for anyone who has recently lost a loved one. For people who spend the holidays with their families, it can be stressful to spend extended periods of time in the midst of complex dynamics.
Simply belonging to a congregation doesn’t provide immunity from loneliness. Cultivating quality social connections can help us move toward greater mental health, no matter where we are currently along the Mental Health Continuum. How do we deal with isolation and build strong social connections? These challenges are a bit distinct, so let’s look at them individually.
Address Social Isolation
Most research indicates that finding simple ways to see people regularly, such as taking a class at your local library, restarting an old hobby, taking part in church activities, and scheduling time to reach out to friends you want to maintain or reconnect with can have a big impact. One review of different strategies to increase connections found that just increasing access to other people was the most effective way to do it! Joining an exercise group, such as one that takes walks around local parks, can have the double benefit of getting you moving. It may also help to give to others: offering small acts of kindness to neighbors or other community members can alleviate some of the pain of isolation and get us thinking less about our own experience of loneliness and into the worlds of others. This article from the New York Times presents a wide range of ideas to consider. It focuses on holiday loneliness, but most ideas could be incorporated any time of year.
Build Strong Social Connections Over Time
Once you have tried a few new activities, develop a weekly schedule that allows you to see some of the same people on a regular basis. Pay attention to who you enjoy spending time with and consider how you want to nourish those relationships over time: do you want to invite people for a walk, have a cup of tea, or visit a local bookstore? While it may seem obvious, to be a great friend, we sometimes need to think about getting practice socializing and flexing those social muscles! Therapy can be a tool to help us move out of some of our negative thinking patterns and tune into what we want to cultivate more of, too. If we have become accustomed to routines that don’t involve others, it takes some real effort to get into the habit of being social on a regular basis – it’s okay to do this gradually, over time. Notice what works for you and what feels less productive.
To Talk To Someone, 9-8-8 is Always Available
Over time, loneliness and isolation can have significant impacts on mental health, and it can be a big relief to speak to someone about how we’re feeling, whether we are struggling or in crisis. If you would benefit from talking or texting with someone, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is available for anonymous conversation by dialing or texting 9-8-8 twenty-four hours a day, every day. You can also visit their website and chat with someone there: https://988lifeline.org/
Conclusion
Developing a variety of quality, meaningful social connections is beneficial to our overall well-being. Building community and friendship takes time; you might take a few small steps each week. A good way to start can be focusing on increasing the number of people we spend time with. Restart that old hobby, take a class, or join a group! Over time, after meeting some new people or seeing people we know a bit more often, we can begin to cultivate looser connections into stronger relationships. And in the meantime, when we go through periods of particular difficulty and need support, we can access mental health services and supports like the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, counseling, and support groups.
